SO LET’S SAY YOU’RE NOT INTO THE WHOLE ROCKETJUMPING SCENE. MAYBE YOU JUST LIKE HAVING A SHOTGUN AT YOUR SIDE, MAYBE YOU’RE A STUPID BITCH THAT DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO AIRSTRAFE. MAYBE YOU’RE IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP WITH THE GROUND. I DON’T GIVE A FUCK, AND NEITHER DO YOU. YOU’RE LOOKING FOR FOR A WEAPON FOR THE ROAMING SOLDIER, WHO JUST DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK AND RUNS AROUND WITHOUT HIS TEAM. YOU’RE IN THE MARKET FOR A WEAPON THAT LETS A BADASS STAY BADASS, EVEN IF HE TAKES A FEW HITS IN THE PROCESS.

BOY HOWDY HAVE I GOT A ROOTIN-MOTHERFUCKING-TOOTIN DEAL FOR YOU. THE BLACK BOX IS A SOLDIER WEAPON THAT FIRES VAMPIRE ROCKETS THAT EAT THE BLOOD OF YOUR PATHETIC, COWERING ENEMIES AND GIVES IT BACK TO YOU AS 15 HEALTH. YOU ONLY HAVE THREE ROCKETS PER CLIP BUT HONESTLY WHO GIVES A SHIT. WHEN YOU’RE PRO AS FUCK YOU WON’T EVEN NEED MORE THAN THREE, AND IF THE ENEMY MANAGES TO SURVIVE YOUR ONSLAUGHT OF CUNT-BLASTING ROCKET FURY, YOU CAN JUST PULL OUT A SHOTGUN AND GIVE THEM A HOT LEAD FACIAL.

HERE’S WHERE SHIT GOES CRAZY, THOUGH. ARE YOU FUCKING READY? BECAUSE I’M ABOUT TO BLOW YOUR FUCKING BRAIN OUT OF THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD WITH THIS AND YOU’RE PROBABLY GOING TO HAVE TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL BECAUSE YOUR MIND COULDN’T HANDLE THE INFORMATION. IF YOU HIT MORE THAN ONE ENEMY, YOU GET EXTRA HEALTH. IF YOU HIT TWO WORTHLESS SHITSACKS, YOU GET 30 HEALTH. HIT THREE OF THE BRAINLESS GUN-MONKEYS AND YOU GET 45. JESUS HORSEFUCKING CHRIST. GO OUT AND GET THIS WEAPON RIGHT NOW BECAUSE DOING LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE AFTER READING THIS IS LIKE BEING GIVEN THE CURE TO CANCER AND JUST LETTING THAT SHIT SIT IN YOUR FRIDGE, YOU DUMB CARELESS FUCK.

  1. community-sandwich reblogged this from tf2-weapons-101
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  4. mayhem13 reblogged this from pybun
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  6. sirscribbsalot reblogged this from pybun and added:
    I LITTEALY CHOKED ON MY FUKCING SPIT
  7. ga1v reblogged this from tf2-weapons-101
  8. bosebowler reblogged this from pybun
  9. k-razielim reblogged this from heres-your-ammo and added:
    And this is why I fucking love the Black Box
  10. mintdragon-the-derp reblogged this from pybun
  11. megal0punny reblogged this from pybun
  12. heres-your-ammo reblogged this from pybun and added:
    *Niggas don’t know ‘bout Stock….*
  13. pybun reblogged this from iwantdatcookie and added:
    vampire rockets
  14. nixthenix reblogged this from tf2-weapons-101